What's Santa's Postal Code?

HOH OHO

Sorry, it's the best I could do on short notice.

Anyway, it's a good lead in to the December talk. As in Christmas is coming. As in what does one do to find the joy in Christmas again and avoid the crass commercialization that it has become?

Now, to the best of my knowledge, there was always a celebration at the height of winter - some would call it paganistic, and then when civilization was spreading, it became a celebration of the birth of Christ. Now, I don't know if you believe in JC or not, if you're a Christian or a pagan - I'm not judging or preaching, just explaining history as I understand it. So even though some now say Jesus was not even born in December, it became the time we celebrated it, to make the pagans feel like they really belonged - like a slow and subtle conversion process (which is better than throwing them to the lions or something).

Another thing I learned this year was the the gift giving tradition was started by the Romans. So it's all their fault!

Again, I do understand the concept of giving presents to the ones you love. I understand bribing children to try and get them to behave (I don't care how great a parent you are, I bet you've done it at least once). So I can see how Santa Claus and his legend grew, I can understand Saints and good people helping the needy in the middle of winter when food was running low or people didn't have clothes warm enough for the cold weather.

What I don't understand is three hour line-ups at (insert name of store here), I do not understand shooting people to get the latest video game, I do not understand spending an average of $800.00 per family member (a Canadian figure I heard). I don't understand how spending money or buying things represents the season of caring, or the birth of Christ (after all, didn't the wise men bring presents they had made themselves?) or even the tradition of family.

I miss the traditions. I miss decorating the tree with a bunch of people. I miss present wrapping marathons. Baking with all the ladies of the family all day long. I miss Christmas dinners where everyone brings their specialty dish. I hate the fact that Christmas has been about connecting with someone for a quick lunch just to exchange presents. I have developed a huge belief that if all we're doing is exchanging presents at Christmas, I want no part of it. If we're getting together, carrying on a tradition - making ornaments, stringing popcorn, baking, wrapping presents, then at least you had some quality time together. But I'm making my own little statement that I will not buy presents just because it's December 25th.

Besides, I try and tell my friends and family that I love them all year long, and to do things for them all year long. Just little things, here and there, that are special because they're not done on a specific day where tradition holds that I must provide a present. I do them to let them know I love them and am thinking about them just because.

I'm sure this won't be the last you hear about this subject. I hope you all have developed your own traditions and overcome this in your own way.

Say Thank You, Gracie

Happy Thanksgiving to you folks in the US. I'm late with my thanks, but in Canada, we celebrate our thanksgiving in October, so it slipped my mind until I was watching an American news program this morning.

Thanksgiving seems to have become less about pilgrims and Indians these days and more about giving thanks and having a wonderful meal with people you love. And that's not such a bad thing. Giving thanks is something we don't do enough. Remembering that we have something to be thankful about is something we don't do enough. I had dinner with an old friend the other day, Geoff Cuskelly, and he had some really interesting things to say about how he lives his life. Things that we should all strive to do in our own way, and maybe just slow down the speed of life for a moment or two.

Interesting point #1. Geoff said that somebody told him once that we all had bad moments, but she didn't believe you could have a bad day. Imagine how much work it would take to have an entirely bad day. And isn't that just the truth? None of us has bad days but we let one little event in the day ruin our whole day. How smart is that? Why aren't we focusing on all the other good things or even mediocre things that happened during that day instead of the one bad thing. Mull that one over while you're chewing your turkey and stuffing.

Interesting point #2 - live in the moment. But I do, you say. Really? Think about this. you're having a wonderful dinner - the food is brilliant, your wife is smiling and wearing that sweater you love, the kids are laughing and giggling with the neighbour's kids, and the neighbours are telling a funny story about their cousins. Are you sitting there and laughing and smiling and enjoying the aroma coming from the stew sitting in the middle of the table? Nope, I bet you're not. I bet you're sitting there thinking "this is fun, we should do this again soon. Maybe next Thursday would be good..."

I thought he was so right about that. You know, we strive very hard for things. As a writer, I worked my butt off for ten years to get published. Did I enjoy the moment? I tried very hard to. I cried and laughed and had a big party. But then it's hard to stay there, because there is so much else to do and plan, publicity, the next book, writing groups, deadlines... So what I need to work on is learning to plan the future but live in the present. Sounds easy huh? Try it!



But my own interesting point is that if nothing else, remember to be thankful. It's like the poem - which I am going to misquote here terribly I'm sure - but that goes something like I was sad I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet. Be thankful for your life and all the great things in it. Even the challenges. Without challenges or mistakes, you would never learn anything.

I keep a copy of my books at my daytime job and I look at them several times a day and I am thankful. I am thankful that I had the fortitude and support to never give up. I am thankful that I listened to the comments of those who knew more than I did and became a better writer. I am thankful that I found agents and publishers that believed in me and were willing to take a chance on me. I am very thankful that there are people in the world that actually took the time to read my books, buy my books, and some even wrote me letters to tell me they liked my books. I am thankful that I have people that love me, a roof over my head, a car that gets me where I want to go, enough money to travel occasionally and do the things I love and the mind to enjoy what I have. I am very thankful for the dreams that I have and the fun and pain and strife and pride I am going to experience while I am working hard to attain them. Most recently, I am very thankful that Barbra Streisand is stilling performing and I got the chance to see her!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Don't Believe it.

In my daytime job I am a transcriptionist.



That means that somebody talks into a tape recorder (mostly doctors) and I then listen to it and type it out for them.

But I don't just do medical transcription, I have been lucky enough to do some legal work with a private investigator (very interesting) and some work with a couple of PhD students too, preparing their dissertations.

The one that struck me as most interesting, was the student whose theme was "Do People Believe What They Read?" I transcribed many, many interviews where this student went into people's homes, checked out the books on their book shelves and asked them about how they chose the books (nonfiction), if they researched the authors and their qualifications, and that type of thing.


And do you know what my non-scientific interpretation of her data was? It was that people assume that the publishers have checked out the authors, their topics and their research and that everything for sale on the racks in the bookstores is the God's Honest Truth.

On lady had totally changed her diet to try to cure a bowel condition based solely on a book by an author with a Bachelor of Education degree that had never worked in the nutrition field but found the diet worked well for her.

People are basing their entire belief systems on books by authors who are no where near a specialist in their field. And as far as I know, the only publishers that actually check on facts, are the publishers of the legitimate medical journals. Regular publishers just run things by their legal department to check on liability and then have authors sign contracts assuming all responsibility.


In this day and age, when television networks have reclassified their News Divisions under the Entertainment Division, and when reporters suddenly have an opinion (remember the good old days when reporters were unbiased and if you wanted an opinion you had to go to the editorial page), and when celebrities are posting blogs just to correct all the lies out their about them - you cannot just believe anything. Whether it's the New York Times, 60 Minutes, or Katie Couric on the Evening News, you have to listen to what they say and then get other input and opinions.

Seeking facts is not longer what THEY do, they seek sensationalism to sell papers and collect ratings points. The responsibility is now on us to seek facts. Don't let us down and don't believe what you read!

Old Friends

Friends are important. Can you imagine your life without friends?

Unfortunately, it's really easy in this day and age to forget about face to face contact, seeing friends, drinking, eating, laughing, crying, hugging and sharing with friends. It's easy to fall into the email-voice mail-blog-cell phone type of stay in touch we use a lot these days.

But friends are important.

And old friends are an under-appreciated natural resource. There's a history there. A short hand to communication. You say something and they understand immediately, because they've lived it with you before.

My family moved around a lot. So I was lacking in old friends. When I finally settled in Calgary as an adult, I made one good friend who is now an old friend. People accuse Carol and I of being like an old married couple - but it's because we now have that shorthand with each other. We know so much about each other's lives over the past 20 years that you don't have to waste a lot of time explaining things.

A few years ago I caught up with an old friend that I had first met in Junior High School. Now he really is my oldest friend - in the figurative sense, as he does point out that he is six months younger than I. But we have a great shorthand. I can say something like "a look like Mr. Nenzi used to give" and we're immediately on the same page. No long list of adjectives required to make any sort of picture appear in his mind - he's there with me. It's somehow reassuring. Plus it's fun to discuss our trip to France in 1976 rather than telling someone about it and knowing they're just listening politely!

Sometimes friends make us crazy. Sometimes friends become famous. Sometimes friends are famous already. (photo courtesy my mom, showing off her two most famous contacts - me the author and some famous actor guy...had a bit of a hit with a detective series called Columbo).

Like Dr. Seuss said "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

The best part about friends is that they are there for you in the good times and the bad. And while it's nice to have them there in the bad times - it's even better to have them there in the good times. I mean what would success be without someone to share it with. I always joke that if I become successful, I will have to be REALLY successful, because I've got a big contingent to take with me. The entourage is already in place.

And what brings up this little bit of nostalgia? I had dinner tonight with two old friends, one of whom I haven't seen in probably 15 years. And it was really great to see him again. Just wait...you might be able to read about it in a book one day, because that's the other thing - everything is fodder for the books.

Remember to tell your friends you love them!

Faint Praise

Here's my big words of advice for the day.

Reviews are wonderful. But don't let them go to your head.

If you believe the goods ones, you have to believe the bad ones.

Rather, be glad people are reviewing you at all and remember there is not such thing as bad publicity!

The Best Advice

Boy this is a hard one. Advice. When to seek it, when to take it, when to just go out for another beer and forget what everyone is trying to tell you.

So, just for now, let's talk just about writing advice. Later, we can do advice about publishing.

You want advice on writing - don't ask me. There' s lots of places out there that will be more than happy to give you advice. Forums and websites and friends and reviewers and even some other authors. Readers want this. Readers demand that. No one will buy your book if you don't do this. It's not believable. It's too believable. When does it end.

That's the hard part - it has to end with you. You are the parent of this book, this child, and you get to make all the decisions that will affect its life. Now, just like any other parent, you can become blinded to your child's strengths and weaknesses (what weaknesses? you ask, horrified). So how can you properly judge your novel and not trust what everyone else is saying?

Well, first I say try a test. Go out onto a street corner and ask a question that requires a subjective answer to the next ten people that walk by. I bet you get ten different answers. Or try posting on a forum - My favourite book is ___ and wait to see how many people agree, disagree or can't believe you could even read such nonsense.

So once you have all those opinions, whose are you going to listen to? See the problem?

Well here's what I do now. I have some readers, people I trust that want me to succeed with my novel and have no other motive. And I ask them to read it and I note all their comments. If I get a consensus on a certain point then I'll go back and consider rewriting or reworking it. But generally, I use it more as a feel as to whether the novel is ready to go off to an agent/publisher.

Now those are the opinions I listen very closely to. My agent and my publisher make their livings off the sales of my books. They have a huge motivation to make my book the best it can be. I listen to every word they say and have wound up with much better stories because of it.

So whether your published or not, read those rejection letters. Learn from those comments. I swear you will not become a good writer the first time out. It takes dedication, committment and a thick skin to really hear what people are telling you about your baby and then dig into another month of rewrites. But in the end, you will be a writer, you will get published and you will be successful.

So, don't take shortcuts (self publishing), don't listen to absolutely everything that everyone says and don't forget to write every day.

Love. Anyone really know what that's all about?

Why love you ask? Why not? Mostly I was just watching a TV show where two people were discovering their love/lust for each other (and getting naked together) and the whole love making scene made me crazy.

Love making and sex scenes are hard though. My first two books were pretty much "and he threw me on the bed"...then fade to black. I mean, if you stop and really think about sex and the mechanics of it, it's really not romantic. I'm not talking about the actually doing it part - especially with someone you're really into - it's the cold hard calculated facts. This goes here. That goes there. Unbotton this. Unzip that. It's almost laughable when you're taking it down into those terms. What makes sex amazing is the emotion that is involved when you're doing it. The hormones rev up, the heart rate revs up and the emotions rev up. Killer combination.

but even when it's all great and it's working, it's not like it is on TV. I mean the writhing nad moaning and rolling around and falling off the bed and doing it in 57 different positions before the massive multiple simultaneous orgasmic climax. Okay, maybe when I was 20 I could do the 57 different positions things, but really, much beyond that it's just too much work for too little pay off. And maybe I've just been sadly deprived, but all that rolling around - he's on top, she's on top, he's on top, she's on top, then he throws her back down beneath him and takes her with his throbbing manhood! Oi vay!

But, like I said, he who casts the first stone better have written a love making scene. Well I have, because like everything else, practice makes perfect. Or at least practice makes it so you don't laugh out loud while you're writing it. And can you make it realistic or is that too boring for fiction or television or movies? Is the point to make it real so people can identify or to show the Hollywood Movie Star's breasts? Ponder that one and keep practicing, both on paper and on 600 threadcount sheets. Remember, they always say you have write what you know!

And by the way, if you really do all that rocking and rolling and throbbing manhood stuff for real - maybe you could give me a call sometime....